Jtwaggy

At the end of the day/

When it all goes away/

When I’m left with this nothing inside/

Hold me close as I howl/

At the noise and the crowd/

And make no difference despite/

#carbs and #coffee Happy Sunday! (at Ninth Street Espresso Uptown)

#carbs and #coffee Happy Sunday! (at Ninth Street Espresso Uptown)

Well, that was rough, but I made it!! Brand new store in SoHo! #MLF

Well, that was rough, but I made it!! Brand new store in SoHo! #MLF

"It’s Not Real Life, It’s Nightlife" #cultof8 @no8ny #PartyPeople

"It’s Not Real Life, It’s Nightlife" #cultof8 @no8ny #PartyPeople

[O]ne of the most striking hallmarks of the fast-fashion era is the rise of the YouTube ‘haul’ video. A typical haul video—so named for the overstuffed bags of clothing one can purchase from a fast-fashion outlet for relatively little money—shows a young woman, just home from shopping, pulling out new purchases and showing them off for the camera. The videos exemplify the new dynamics of fashion consumption in America: the sheer cheapness, the low barriers to gratification, the disposability of stylish clothing. As one star of a haul video recently said, ‘I bought these jeans just because it was a $6-denim day at Forever 21.’
Christina Moon in "The Secret World of Fast Fashion" (via putthison)

Tragic. Ultimate Consumerism.

La Femme @ Chez Andre Great show!

La Femme @ Chez Andre Great show!

Not ours

Their luck is not our luck. Their money we spend without owning it. Their rules we follow when we must and break whenever possible. Their systems are the ones we avoid and challenge and irrevocably alter. Their minds are the ones we say we can change but never do.

We write our own futures, present by present by past, following the line of our own hand into infinite possibilities finitely represented. We cause, and are affected. We do, and consequently watch others do without. We see but pause and wait for a vision we like better. We tell everyone we’re listening. We suffer the apathetic, burns the bridges of status quo, fight aggression, and challenge our own effigies in a glory of self-medicating analysis and ignorance.

We are not ours.

We are each others.

Accomplished

When I was planning this post, I realized that my father at my age had graduated, found a job, bought a house, had two sons, and was “stable” in his life and career. He lived in a small town where he was highly respected and well-paid.

I moved to NYC almost 3 years ago now. I have no real estate, a degree that still makes me laugh when I look at it, a savings account that makes me cry when I look at it, and my personal is unmentionable in most social settings. Instead of that half-acre lot and a 3 bedroom house, I have long nights and days of phone calls, emails, texts, and tweets to delineate myself from the 8 million other people in this crazy city who all think they deserve to be here just as much as I do… sometimes even more.

I fight to be here- not because I’m that good or have to prove myself; rather, I fight daily to tell myself that I’m still fighting. I’m alive and kicking, no matter what this maniacal rat race has thrown at me. I have real friends that I made in 2 pm coffee shops, 9 pm offices, 3 pm bars, 8 pm museums, and 3 am subway stations. I am gainfully employed doing what I set out to do. And I am damned good at it!

When I look at my friends and family, with their well-defined expectations and carefully constructed routines, I am proud of them. They worked hard for them. Those life are their defining achievements.

But that’s not me.

Latergram from last night at Eleven Madison Park w/ @ecava and an incredible #Tanqueray soiree

Latergram from last night at Eleven Madison Park w/ @ecava and an incredible #Tanqueray soiree

Thief

I feel broken and raw- not unfinished so much as undone. I am made incomplete but I felt more alone when I was with you. I see puzzle pieces that you so carefully picked apart only to be lost in the bigger picture. It was never perfect but it was at least good for me. Was it good for you? But now I have these chapters of my life that you stole and I can’t replace them- only write them anew and hope they’re at least as good as the first time…